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To all the Olympic non-believers and urban-cool party gloomers, the time has come to drop the high-brow snobbery and embrace the freneticus pane et circus olympicus.
I hear your doubting shouts and moans - but I believe it's time to join the lycra-party and have some fun.
Yes, it's corporate branded, but so is everything else in our material world.
Yes, there's been some terrible bad-planning and poor decisions made along the way, but spare a thought for Seb, Boris and Boyle: those guys are trying to pull off one gigantic motherfucker nightmare gig - and that's no mean feat.
Yep, the logo, the typeface, the uniforms, everything about London2012 looks ugly and in poor taste - how on earth did London, the cool graphic design capital of the world, ended up with Lisa Simpson giving Bart a blowie for the 2012 logo is beyond me...
(go, Lisa...)
Still, all of this and so many other controversies and mishaps, I believe, have only added to the drama and excitement, and the sense that something really special was about to happen.
The sarabites at the Guardian and the Independent tried very hard to convince us we didn't give a damn, but the wonderful BBC torch-cam told a very different story: The nation cared, and was moved by the humbling tales of the many inspirational torch-bearers. I wept as I read some of their stories.
So please, whichever way you feel about the Olympics, do try to remember that, not unlike the music industry, although made up of a dirty amalgamation of money-driven corporate rats and media opportunists, at its heart, right in the middle of all this nonsense, there are the athletes, solely driven by their desire to pursue their dreams and ambitions.
The long and hard journey each one of them must have made to reach our town commands our respect and admiration, and puts to shame all of those selfish enough to go 'round moaning about how their stupidly irrelevant daily work commute was going to be disrupted by the games.
No, for me it's not about team-gee-bee, or how Brazil are gonna crush everyone on football, my plan is to root for all of them, from Algeria to Ukraine, all will be met with the same ridiculous amateurish enthusiasm and admiration at the cave.
And as I gaze at my Olympic tickets, right in the corner I spot that wonderful Olympic logo, beautifully and perfectly designed by Baron Pierre de Coubertin.
It still stands for something - an ideal, an aspiration, of fairness, equality and excellence. It still touches a chord within, makes me weak at the knees and brings a tear or two of pure human hope and joy to my heart.
And as Siobhan Sharpe would say:
'Ok guys, so here's the thing, the things is, like, let's totally rock this shit..'
Enjoy the games - see you at the beer tent!
x
ps - (fit people wearing super-tight lycra shorts and running, jumping about.
what's there not to like about it? - bring it, baby, bring it!)
